Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.

Yes, I am a fan of The Princess Bride! I thought I would tackle a biggie today. I'm not sure where this post will wander, but it will be interesting. I have been married for over 17yrs. I got married 2 weeks shy of my 20th birthday. My husband was 21. We were raised in a religion/cult that encouraged dating with the intent of marriage  No serial dating, no getting a chance to be in relationships with different personalities to see how you meshed, no chance to explore your sexuality to see what you liked, no chance to grow up because when your hormones are raging, you just want to jump someone and that is not possible until you are married. Did I mention the chaperones with you at all times, too? Needless to say, many of us got married young to people we didn't really know, and never got to figure out what we really did like or not.
Fortunately for me,  I married a boy who was head over heals in love with, was not an abusive person, did not have a disrespect for women. He has grown into a man that is head over heals in love with me, is not abusive, and does not have a disrespect for women. And for this, I am so very thankful. But why am I so unhappy now?  Why is the grass always greener on the other side? I know it's not, because I have seen the single men, and had friendships with the married ones. They are all no better, and many far worse, than my husband. But why does a marriage go through times when we take turns wanting out? When we know what is out there, but still think we could be happier? Were we meant to be monogamous? Was marriage an institution we were made to be in until death do us part? Why?
There are thousands of counselors, millions of books and videos made with the intent of helping marriages stay together. Our parents didn't have nearly this much, and our grandparents had next to nothing like this, but yet their marriages stayed together no matter what. They put up with a whole BUNCH of shit and still stayed because of the stigma of divorce. Now, we don't have that stigma and it is a norm. It is actually out of the norm to be in a marriage of 20yrs or more. What does this say about us? That when we deny ourselves and our happiness and self worth, as our grandparents may have done, then marriage works. But when we try to remain true to ourselves and make our happiness a part our routine, it doesn't? What does this say about marriage? What does this say about us?